


Shelter

by TheDarkestDandelion



Series: The Daemon, the Soldier and a Stolen Bio-Weapon AU [121]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Acceptence, Anger, Anger Clarus Amicitia, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Ardyn Izunia Being An Asshole, Big Brothers, Comfort, Cor Leonis Needs a Hug, Fear, Flowers, Fury, Guilt, Hugs, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Love, M/M, Mentioned Cid Sophiar, Mentioned Titus Drautos | Glauca, Multi, Poor Cor Leonis, Promises, Protective Clarus Amicitia, Protective Older Brothers, Protectiveness, Rage, Regret, Self-Esteem Issues, Supportive Clarus Amicitia, Tears, Threats, Vodka, big brother to the rescue, hopelessness, making amends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:35:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26666785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDarkestDandelion/pseuds/TheDarkestDandelion
Summary: Ardyn may not have meant what he said, about Cor being a waste, but that wasn't what the Marshal's head was telling him.The pain of those words had become too much for Cor; so here he was, sitting in the darkroom of his old office, with a bottle of vodka in front of him. Knowing that drinking it would make the pain he was feeling bearable.Was one sip really worth the risk of reignited his addiction? However, he didn't think Ardyn cared for him anymore so... perhaps it was?
Relationships: Ardyn Izunia & Somnus Lucis Caelum, Ardyn Izunia/Cor Leonis, Clarus Amicitia & Ardyn Izunia, Clarus Amicitia & Cor Leonis
Series: The Daemon, the Soldier and a Stolen Bio-Weapon AU [121]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1310333
Comments: 12
Kudos: 25





	Shelter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shattered_Mirrors_and_Lace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shattered_Mirrors_and_Lace/gifts).



> Shattered_Mirrrors_and_Lace I fell in love with this idea and it had to be written! It just had to be! 
> 
> So I really hope everyone is in the mood for angst, angst, angst cause there is a lot in this thing. Please read the tags. I think have tagged everything correctly so please enjoy XD

Cor stared at the bottle of vodka in front of him; resting his chin on his elbows as his leg started shaking like mad. 

He could drink that. It would be so easy. All too easy. All he had to do was open the top and down the stuff like it was water. No one was around to stop him. He hadn’t even made sure of that. He knew Ardyn was trying to convince Somnus not to die for him, Prompto was with Ignis and Gladio, and Regis was with his granddaughter. There was no chance of anyone walking through that door and taking the bottle out of his hands. Like no one was around to stop him from purchasing it. It was surreal. He walked into the store, asked for a bottle and it was handed to him like that. No questions asked. When he came back to the Citadel, empty handed - as he had hid the small bottle in his jacket - no one even questioned where he had gone. They were all too busy to ask anything of him, especially Ardyn. 

Why would his husband ask anyway? He thought he was a _waste_ _of space_ , didn’t he? That was what he screamed in his face after all. 

Cor sucked in air, trying his best to prevent hot tears from leaking out of his eyes as the look of that bottle became more and more appealing by the second. Why shouldn’t he drink it? It would stop the pain that was currently raging on inside of him. It would stop the pounding in his head. It would stop everything and make him numb. The pain would go away... all of it. And it didn’t matter if Ardyn had apologised to him for what he said because those hurtful soul-crushing words had engraved themselves onto his heart, along with the pain that they brought with them. Ardyn Leonis was his world, he was literally everything to him, and to know that he thought - even if it was for a second - that their time together was a waste… Cor couldn’t even begin to comprehend the damage that sentence had done to his head. What it was still doing to his head. Because what Ardyn had said… Drautos had said that to him too. 

The dead Captain had told him that he was a waste of space. That he was pathetic and useless and that no one wanted him. Especially not Ardyn. 

Cor shuddered uncomfortably at the memory of that man. Cor felt his stomach begin to churn and the rapid uncontrollable movements of his leg became more violent. The words of the dead man invaded and clouded his train of thought; whispering to him, putting him down, telling him no one would care if he drank that. Not a soul. In fact, they would all be glad if he drank it because then they would all realise - like what Ardyn finally had - what a waste of time and effort he truly was. Cor twitched as a feeling of dirt began to smother and suffocate him once again; nearly fully believing all of what he thought was true. 

Hot tears rushed out of his eyes as he leant forward and gingerly picked up the ice cold glass bottle. His breathing torn, Cor slowly opened the red top up and stared down at the crystal clear liquid.

It smelt awful, like paint stripper. Granted he did buy the cheapest highest percentage bottle of vodka he could get his hands on, so it wouldn’t surprise him if it actually was that. What did it matter what it tasted like? As long as it did the trick and stopped his heart from breaking anymore than it already had, he didn’t care. 

He didn’t care anymore because Ardyn no longer cared about him! 

Cor raised the bottle to his mouth, the freezing cold glass biting at his lips, tipping it ever so slightly so the liquid would rush down. The liquid brushed against his lips and that was when his reflexes kicked in. Cor yanked his arm down, harshly wiping his mouth with his sleeve trying to get the toxic substance off his lips as panic completely took over his body. 

_ What the fuck are you doing?!  _

Cor screamed at himself in his head. 

He quickly put the lid back on and slammed it down on the table, recoiling away from the bottle like it was a daemon. His breathing was disjointed and fast and the tears wouldn’t stop rushing out of his reddening eyes. He was trembling in pure disgust at himself. What the fuck was he doing?! Vision shattered by tears, Cor looked down at his hands and wept in fear of himself. How could he do that?! How could he afford to let himself slip all the way back down that route?! He thought that was beneath him now. He thought he had somehow beaten his alcoholism. And yet, when the chips were down and his broken heart was laid out for all to see he went straight back to the bottle… 

Maybe Ardyn and Drautos were correct. 

Maybe he was nothing but a worthless waste after all.

Cor brought his knees to his chest and began to accept those words, whimpering and bubbling like the mess he truly was. He closed his eyes and stuttered out into the empty room, voice completely void of hope.

“Help me…” 

No one would hear him and that bottle was only a few feet away from him. Next time he had the urge to throw the toxic liquid down his throat… he didn’t know if he would be able to stop himself.

* * *

“Regis? Have you seen Cor?” Clarus asked. 

Clarus had been looking for the Marshal for a good few hours now because the man in question failed to turn up to a meeting. It was understandable. Clarus knew that his little brother was shaken up by what Ardyn had yelled at him yesterday and quite frankly the Shield was worried about him. He’d give Cor a ring after speaking with Regis if the King failed to give him a rough indication as to where their little brother may be. 

Regis shook his head. “No, sorry. Ardyn told me that he had gone for a walk around the city.” 

“That was five hours ago, Reggie, I highly doubt he would still be out there.” Clarus replied, his brotherly instincts kicking in. Something didn’t feel right about this…

“Have you asked Ardyn?” 

“He’s with Somnus.” 

“Ah.” Regis nodded, understanding the situation. “Maybe he has gone to sleep. The poor dear is still quite upset and I wouldn’t blame him if he has. I am shattered too.” 

Clarus frowned as his King yawned. Cor wouldn’t go for a nap, not unless he had a migraine and Clarus had already looked in his and Ardyn’s quarters, he wasn’t there either. Clarus had looked around this fucking place twice already looking for the man and there was neither hide nor hair of him. 

Getting his phone out his pocket, Clarus rubbed the back of his neck. “Go to bed then and I’ll have another look-”

_ Buzz! Buzz! Buzz! _

Clarus nearly dropped his phone as the thing started to vibrate in his hand. He ignored the laughter from Regis, because apparently it was amusing his phone had nearly given him a heart attack, and looked at the caller ID. Speak of the devil. The name that popped up was Cor’s. The Shield quickly answered, placing the phone to his ear and spoke with relief in his tone. 

“Cor, finally I have been looking for-” 

_ “Clarus.”  _

Clarus’s face dropped when he heard the shattered voice of his little brother and his relief turned into nothing but concern. 

“Cor? Cor what’s the matter?” 

_ “I need… I need your help-p.”  _ Cor’s voice broke, transforming into ugly tears. 

“Of course I’ll help you.” Clarus assured him, looking at Regis and his King looked beyond worried too. “Tell me where you are.”

_ “I am… I am in my office. But- but-”  _

“It’s alright. Breathe. And I’ll be there as soon as I can.” 

_ “I am in my old office, Clarus.”  _

Fuck! 

Clarus gulped and just about managed to prevent that word, littered with fear, from escaping his lips. He didn’t even give Regis any information, he walked out of the room as quickly as he could, trying his hardest to keep Cor talking to him on the phone. Unfortunately the only sounds he got from his brother were cries of desperation and hurt. Still Clarus kept talking to him, telling him to breathe as he rode through his panic attack and asked if he could get himself out of that room. There was no way Cor could stay in there, Clarus didn’t care if he had to drag him out; that room held too many traumatic memories for the Marshal and if he had willingly placed himself in that room, then that meant Cor was in some serious trouble and in dire need of help and support. However, Cor couldn’t craft a coherent sentence together, let alone do anything else. It had probably taken the last bit of control he had of himself to reach out to him. 

The Shield got to the Marshal’s old office in record breaking time. He didn’t knock. He marched straight into the room and found Cor crying himself silly next to a bottle of vodka. 

Going wide-eyed, Clarus ran to his best friend’s side, picking up the bottle, quickly inspecting it to see if it had been drunk at all. It didn’t look as though it had but it had been opened. 

_ Oh no... _

Clarus placed a gentle hand on Cor’s shoulder and shook him to get his attention. “Cor? Cor? Did you drink this?” 

He didn’t get a response, Cor was still struggling to breathe and holding himself in fear. Clarus quickly slid the bottle across the floor to get it away from Cor, before taking a hold of Cor’s other shoulder. 

“Cor? Look at me. I need you to talk to me. Did you drink the vodka? Cor?!”

“No!!!!” Cor wailed, holding himself tighter than before. “But I wanted to! I really did… I really, really wanted to.” 

“Oh Cor…” Clarus said softly, slowly wrapping his arms around his distraught brother. “It’s alright, I’ve got you. You’re safe.” 

Clarus rested his head against Cor’s greying blond mess and waited for him to calm down before asking him anything else. It was truly heartbreaking to see Cor like this again and if he was honest he didn’t know what to do. Being in this fucking room was not doing him any good either. There was no doubt in the Shield’s mind that this had happened because of what Ardyn had said yesterday and when Clarus found Ardyn… he better hope his immortality was still fucking intact! After a while of simply holding his brother, Cor’s breathing started to normalise. Clarus rubbed his brother’s back and loosened his grip ever so slightly. 

“There we go. You are alright.” Clarus assured him. 

“Clarus…” Cor whimpered, holding on to his arm, gulping down his tears. 

“I know. I know.” Clarus repeated calmly. “I am here.” 

“I’m- I’m sorry-” 

“It’s alright. You didn’t drink any. It’s alright.” 

“I am sorry.” Cor repeated, wiping his face on Clarus’s arm. In a broken whisper, Cor managed to croak out. “I don’t mean to be a waste.” 

“You are not a waste.” Clarus said sternly; trying his best to ignore the anger that was simmering away inside of him. “You are my little brother and I love you.” 

“But- Ardyn said-” 

“He...” Clarus interjected Cor, having to try and stop himself from running Ardyn’s name in the mud. As much as he wanted too, Cor didn’t need to hear that. “...didn’t mean a word of it. His anger was only directed at Somnus, not you.”

“But- but- but... Drautos said the same thing to me...” Cor whimpered, losing control of his breathing and tears once more. 

Something snapped in the Shield’s eyes upon hearing that heartbreaking revelation. 

Oh, Ardyn Leonis was going to be lucky if he ever saw Cor again at this rate!

* * *

Clarus had no idea how he managed to get Cor out of that horrible room and into where Regis was, but he didn’t fucking care by this point. All the Shield could see was red and he was not letting this drop no matter what Cor was trying to tell him. Like fuck his little brother didn’t mean to nearly drink himself into a blackout state! The evidence was scattered around him and Clarus feared what would have become of Cor if he didn’t work up the courage to call him. Clarus never wanted to find out and to ensure he never did; he was going to fucking kill the Adagium! 

With the opened bottle of vodka in hand, Clarus stormed his way into the room where Ardyn and Somnus were fighting - yet again about that bloody prophecy - and launched the bottle, with force, directly at Ardyn’s head. Burning anger consumed the Shield as Ardyn caught the object and gave him a horrified look.

_ Oh no! Ardyn was not the one who got to look like that here!  _

“You are fucking lucky that is full!” Clarus roared, ignoring the alarmed look Somnus was giving him; staring directly into Ardyn’s golden eyes. Clarus refused to allow Ardyn a second to speak before getting right up in his face and screaming at him. “Cor called me in  _ tears _ because of what you fucking said to him yesterday! You stupid heartless daemon! You have fucked his head up, because what you said to him was the exact same thing Drautos said to him before! You are so fucking  _ lucky _ that he scared himself so much buying that bloody bottle that he called me instead of drinking it!” 

Clarus clenched his jaw together as he saw Ardyn’s face drop with guilt and regret. No! Clarus was not feeling fucking sorry for him! Not after all this! 

He roughly grabbed Ardyn’s shirt, pulled him closer and spat words filled with disgust and hatred at him. “You are going to fucking fix this! You are going to make this right! Because guess where he went Ardyn?! He went to his old office! I don’t fucking care how upset you are over Somnus’s plan. I don’t care how you are feeling at all! All I care about is Cor and because of you he nearly hit the fucking bottle again! If I lose my little brother over your tactless and callous words, Ardyn, Bahamut and his prophecy be damned! I will put you in the fucking ground myself!” 

Ardyn only nodded at him. He did not dare to move a muscle, but the Shield was far from done with his screaming fit. 

Tightening his fist on Ardyn’s clothes, Clarus snarled at him. “If you think for one second Cid isn’t finding out what you did then you are fucking stupid! Regis is calling him right now, so you have about an hour to fix the mess you made! And if not, your father-in-law is going to be the one to make sure your immortality is cut short! Now go!” 

Clarus dropped Ardyn, stepping out of his way to allow the man to walk past him. However, Ardyn managed to infuriate him even more by only staring down at the floor, guilt and shame plastering his features. Clarus’s patience had completely run out. Clenching his hand into a fist, he swung forward and collided his fist into Ardyn’s jaw, screaming at him again: 

“GO NOW YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! If you don’t move in the next 5 seconds Cid turning you into car fuel is going to be nothing compared to what I am going to do to you! Now fucking move!” 

Clarus glared daggers at Ardyn as he quickly hurried out of the room at top speed.  _ Good!  _ Clarus thought to himself, unable to prevent himself from growling in disgust of this situation. It didn’t matter if Ardyn somehow made this up to Cor in the hour he had, Cid was going to behead that daemon and Clarus was going to bloody join him. He shifted his gaze to the Founder King and bared his teeth at him if Somnus had anything to fucking say on the matter he better say it now, because all of this was his fault! 

“If you don’t die, I will kill you myself.” 

Somnus nodded in agreement. “Got it.”

* * *

It took Ardyn 20 minutes to convince Regis to let him past so he could see his husband. Shame, guilt, regret, self-hatred had engulfed Ardyn and he knew he had to tell Cor how much he meant to him. That he would never and would never share a single thought that that disgusting pathetic excuse of a human being had when it came to Cor. Ardyn loved him with everything he had and to finally realise how vile, cruel and heartless he had been towards the love of his life… Ardyn didn’t want to look at himself. He didn’t want anything to do with himself. How could he have forgotten that had been said to Cor? How could he let his anger and hate for another person get in the way of his adoration and protectiveness for the best thing that had ever happened to him? Clarus was right, he was a fucking asshole! 

When Ardyn finally was allowed to see his husband, his heart broke at seeing how shattered Cor was. Ardyn walked up to him, guilt weighing him down as he fell to his knees in front of Cor in defeat. 

“My Marshal?” Ardyn asked in a whisper, lightly brushing his fingertips along his husband’s cheek, only to be rejected by the sudden movement of Cor’s head. Ardyn closed his eyes in pain. He didn’t mean for this to happen… he didn’t even know why he had said that. “Cor… please look at me?” 

He didn’t.

Ardyn inhaled weakly, small real tears creeping out of his eyes.  _ What I have done to you? _ “Sweetheart, nothing can excuse what I said to you. I am so, so, so sorry I pushed you that far. I… I have nothing but love and admiration for you. I can’t stress enough how much joy you bring me. I will never be able to explain how much you have changed me for the better and how much I appreciate all you have done for me. I love you. You are not a waste. You're my Cor Leonis and I can’t believe I made you want to drink. I am so sorry.” 

Cor did nothing but shaking his right leg and that was when Ardyn realised there was nothing that he could ever say to fix this. It was all words. He may mean this to the bottom of his heart but Cor’s head was never going to believe him. He had gone too far this time and now he had royally fucked everything up. 

Ardyn wiped away the tear that rolled down his face and took Cor’s hands in his. He felt his husband tense up and Cor’s reaction only made Ardyn cry more. “My Marshal, please? If you are feeling guilty at all for buying the vodka, I don’t blame you. This is my fault. All my fault. I didn’t mean to scare you or hurt you. Please, sweetheart, just look at me. I want to help. I really, really do. Please let me, I will do anything to make this up to you. Please? I will even put myself on Angelgard if that is what I have to do to prove to you how sorry I am.”

Ardyn exhaled with a small amount of relief when he felt Cor squeeze his hands. His beautiful Marshal didn’t look at him though. He stared at the other end of the room and whispered in a voice filled with self-hatred. “Don’t do that for me.” 

“I would do anything for you. I can never take back what I said, but I didn’t mean it. I didn’t. I swear.” Ardyn promised, kissing Cor’s hands lightly, trying his hardest not to break down in a mess of tears. “I am so sorry.” 

“You are right though.” Cor stated, in a shattered voice.

“Pardon?” 

“If Somnus dies for you, you can’t… you can’t… you won’t be free from having to look after an alcoholic for a husband- I don’t want to rob you of an escape route.” 

“No!” Ardyn stuttered out, letting go of Cor’s hands, placing them on his face, forcing Cor to look into his watery golden eyes. When he finally got to look at the exhaustion in his husband's eyes… Ardyn couldn’t even comprehend the level of hatred he now harboured for himself. “Cor… I don’t want a way out. I never, ever, meant to make you feel or think that my death is a way to escape you. I want to be with you until the day you die. I want to be here when you think you can’t cope. I want to be the shoulder you cry on. I want to be the one to show you how valued you are. I want to watch the dawn rise with you. I want to look after our future grandchildren with you. I want to be the one person that makes you laugh for no reason. I want to be near you every second of the day. I want to stay with you, on Eos, for as long as I can… I just don’t want to lose my brother either.”

Cor lent into his hand and whimpered. “I still feel like a waste…”

Ardyn lent his forehead against Cor’s and whispered. “You're not that. You could never be that. Never.” 

“I wanted to drink it though… I was going to... I let you down.” 

“No, I was the one who let you down.” Ardyn corrected him, ghosting his lips against Cor’s. “Me. Not you. Me. I will do whatever it takes to make you understand that. Even if it means I have to tell Cid my most painful, disturbing, horrifying death so he can replicate it, I would do it. I will do it for you.”

Cor kissed him back, breathing heavily. “I don’t want you to die… I want you here. I want you longer than how many weeks, months we have left together. I want you forever.” 

“Then that is what you’ll have.” Ardyn promised. “I won’t leave you. Not now. Not ever.”

“But Somnus-”

“He isn’t the one who needs me. You do. I don’t want to die knowing all too well, the next time you want a drink you won’t be able to stop yourself. I can’t let you go through that. I won’t go through that.” 

“I love you, Ass Hat.” Cor said, finally hugging him. 

“I love you more. I love you too much to let you go. I am so sorry it took me scaring you to the point of breaking to realise that. I am sorry.” Ardyn sobbed, placing his face on Cor's shoulder.

* * *

“...he’ll drink himself to death if I die.” Ardyn admitted, covering his mouth as he stood a few meters away from his younger brother. “I can’t let that happen.” 

Somnus gave him a sorrowful look and sighed. “Why do you think I want to do this? Why do you think I am giving you this chance. It’s for the both of you and for Prom and Noctis. And for everyone.” 

“But I will still lose you.” 

“Better to lose someone who has always done wrong by you, then someone who has stuck by you through thick and thin.” Somnus shrugged. 

Silence fell and Ardyn didn’t know what to say. 

How could he even begin to find the words? His brother was going to die so no one else did and in order to save Cor from himself Ardyn had to let it happen. He had to allow this to take place…

“Ardyn, I know you don’t want to lose anyone. This is hard. But it is for the best.” Somnus assured him.

Ardyn shook his head. “You know what, Som, in all our years on this rock I have finally come to the realisation that death is never a price anyone should pay for things to get better.”

“I am afraid I have to disagree with you.” 

“How so?” 

“Bahamut’s death is long overdue. Because if I am going to die Ardyn, I am taking that God out with me.” 

Ardyn raised an eyebrow. Now that was something he could more than agree on.


End file.
